Many people refer to our girls as little miracles, including myself, but I have to admit I have always struggled with the concept of an actual physical miracle. In fact, if I am to be honest, I have considered not making this post in fear it could hurt someone who has prayed for a miracle before but not received it (like myself). Or perhaps I feel like a hypocrite to write about a miracle when I constantly doubt myself and had not the faith to earn such a gift.
But I feel it would be dishonest not to write it. I will try to tell it as plainly as possible.
When Ellie had her first heart scan we were told a duct in her heart was ‘wide open’ and it was something that would not close on its own accord if it hadn’t done so by now. The two options were using a simple drug that can help close it or to have surgery. We naturally were happy for them to try the drugs before surgery but the first treatment had only made a minimal improvement and her second lot of doses had to be postponed until she recovered from her sepsis infection.
I remember when the doctors told me about ‘the duct that wouldn’t close by itself’ that I immediately thought it something to pray for….and then convinced myself that I was being over imaginative and to let the doctors continue with their treatments. But I couldn’t shake the idea that this specific problem was something to bring before God. After a time of second guessing myself I finally gave in and asked some people from my prayer group to join me in prayer for this specific purpose, that the duct in Ellie’s heart would close.
I was quite convinced that it was something God ‘could do’ but I was anything but sure that it is something God ‘would do’. I even recall feeling foolish after sending the message that I was going to make these people of prayer share my disappointment when nothing happened.
So you can imagine my surprise when Deb told me that the doctors re scanned Ellie’s heart a week later and the duct was no longer wide open, in fact it was now closed enough to be considered of medical insignificance. The doctors were surprised at the results of the scan and the problem in my little girls heart that had been holding her back was suddenly no longer a problem.
I am so humbled by the countless people that are praying for us and supporting us. My mind boggles when I consider I will never truly know the full extent of the difference they are making to our lives. And I am overwhelmed as I begin to realise I will never be able to fully repay or show enough appreciation to countless people rallying around us.