Day 151

A Day off. Today was Ellie’s 3rd or 4th day with no parents visiting (ever) and the 1st since Hannah came home about 10 weeks ago. Our intention, as recommended to us more than once, was to take one day off a week just to help us cope with the demands of a newborn at home. Well Ellie got really  sick basically the day Hannah got home, so we didn’t have days off and then Ellie was really good and needing a lot of attention so we didn’t have days off and then Ellie was sick and we didn’t have days off. However these last two or three weeks I have been feeling absolutely smashed. I have missed a few of my Saturdays off where Matt usually goes in by himself, Ellie has been stressing me out (which she excels at) and I realised the only time I get to myself is during the two hours of driving I do on the days Hannah stays at home with Matt. Another sign a day off was needed was that this past week I think there was a comment on the blog about looking after yourself so you can help others, my sister reminded me about even in aeroplanes they tell you you have to look after yourself first so that you can help others and there have been a few posts I have stumbled across on Facebook about looking after yourself and filling up your own cup so that you are more capable of helping others. Not to mention the nurse Ellie has had on nights since Thursday has been telling me to have a day off. I would love to be able to say all of this led me to having a day off today, but no it just allowed me to not feel guilty. Last night Nate came down with a cold and my paranoid self woke up this morning thinking I was sick. Due to a few things happening today I was going to have to leave around 7-7:30am if I wanted to see Ellie. So I rang at 6 when I woke up and Ellie had had a great night and was doing really well, due to the other baby paired with Ellie the nurse was able to give her a lot of attention when she was awake and I asked who was taking over and it was the nurse that came to radiology with us on Friday. At this point I felt comfortable having a day off and promptly fell back asleep for 3 hours (after feeding Hannah). I also indulged myself in not cancelling the boys prearranged babysitting (thanks Poppy and Granma) and wore Hannah while strolling through a busy fair that was on today (I love fairs). It was only a few hours and the small amount of physical activity exhausted me, but it was the most time I have had outside for a long time and what a beautiful day for it. I’m back to being exhausted now after a birthday party of one of Nate’s very close friends and the usual angst of bedtime. Anyway I really enjoyed my day, missed my youngest baby but throughly enjoyed my day knowing she was being looked after and cared for by people that know her and truly do care for her.

MEDICAL PROGRESS

On a medical front Ellie is looking good and is showing obvious signs of improving. She had a chest xray today that looked better than her last, she came off her NAVA for a few minutes to get weighed (first time in a week) and tolerated it well, she is more relaxed and enjoying being awake rather than just being upset and crying. It was mentioned that she is probably capable of coming off the NAVA now and put on CPAP but that doctors want to give her an opportunity to grow and her lungs to heal as much as possible before her surgery (we don’t know when this will be yet, just waiting for her pneumonia to fully clear).

Ellie is now 3010 grams and grown out most of her 00000 clothes!!

Daddy day tomorrow.

*Deb

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Baby wearing

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Nice new scratches

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4 thoughts on “Day 151

  1. So glad you had a day to yourself ( sort of) it does help to recharge the batteries, so well done. Miss Ellie sounds as though she is on the right track now. I love reading your blog and still praying for Ellie to go home very soon a healthy little girl.

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  2. So glad when I got half way through your post to read the words “allowed me to not feel guilty”. Yes, if you try to put the oxygen mask on your child before fitting your own in a plane emergency, there’s every chance you’ll pass out before being able to assist your child…
    No mother on the planet could be more selfless, devoted, determined and loving than you have been through all these harrowing months, Deborah Jane, so PLEASE, whenever you possibly can, take some time out for yourself.
    Hey chubba bubba Ellie – 3+ kilos – wow!!!!!

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  3. So pleased you took some time out for yourself. Please don’t feel guilty. You are amazing, and you need some special time out, to breathe, restore your strength and enjoy this perfect day God has blessed us with. Always in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself. xx

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