A year since a terrible day

Wow two months have flown by.

It is amazing having our family together. Mother’s Day, birthdays I have never appreciated having all my kids together quite how I do now.

The last three to four weeks have been tough, the girls got colds and we were very excited when Ellie got through it at home. This was followed by Ellie getting two more teeth (they have 8 each now), this flowed into the girls and I getting a nastier virus.

This virus resulted in 4 doctors appointments and 1 hospital admission in 3 days. Ellie and I were back at Randwick for 4 days and that was plenty (she was able to stay on low flow just with a little more oxygen at times) – how do people spend longer in hospital?!?

We have been back home for two weeks now and she is doing amazingly well.

 

 

OK I’ll be honest, I wrote the above a week ago. I was finding it difficult to write – I’m not sure why. I think I wanted it to be special or make an impact and I could find the words. One year ago today we wrote a blog after not sleeping all night, after being told our youngest child was going to die. After messaging parents and siblings all night with any tiny update. In perspective of this it isn’t hard to write a blog with meaning.

One year ago the girls weighed 3.2kg and 1.8kgs, they currently weight just over 10 and about 7 (Ellie lost a bit when she was sick in hospital recently).

One year ago Ellie was unable to have anything orally (even via NG), we have only needed to use Ellie’s NG one in the last 3-4 days. It takes her a couple of goes to drink a bottle sometimes due to fatigue (I assume), any milk she is leaving in the bottle she is making up for in solids plus some.

One year ago I was terrified Hannah would be missing a part of herself and I knew we would never be able to fill that void. Now we have to stop Hannah pulling out Ellie’s hearing aides, ripping off her oxygen and then laughing and constantly sitting on her less mobile and significantly smaller sister.

One year ago Ellie’s ventilator settings had to be set so high in an attempt to keep her alive that it permanently scarred the outside lining of her lungs meaning every breath is like blowing up a balloon for the first time. (the scar tissue will never go away, but as she grows the new tissue will one day be larger than the scarred tissue – lungs can continue to grow until you are in your teens). Despite this Ellie is breathing without any oxygen support for up to 2-3 hours a day (longer if we forget to turn it back on) and we are working up to 4+ hours a day before our next respiratory appointment later this month.

One year ago there were questions around Ellie’s intelligence being compromised due to the extended time she was deprived of oxygen while sick, also a severe developmental delay. The amazing physio at Sutherland Hospital and fantastic early intervention speech therapist (hearing) are both astonished with her understanding, communication skills and intelligence (she can be quite cheeky). She is assertive if she doesn’t want to do something and has already pushed Hannah over a couple of times after she sat on her lap. She is starting to steal toys back off Hannah and knows what she is ready for! An example of this is me giving Hannah a peanut butter bread roll to eat and I turned away only to look back and seeing both of them then munching on bread roll. Her development is delayed especially compared to her sister who likes to stand up in random places (on pillows, on the lounge, over people’s leg and also on a flat hard surface – if there is nothing fun to stand up on. She is taking steps when people hold her hands. Ellie once again shocked her physio (I know health professionals seem to take a while to get onto the Ellie doesn’t fit the mould bandwagon) when she actually improved between appointments despite being sick and admitted into hospital. I’m told the biggest factor in her developmental delay is the fact she spend a year in hospital and a lot of that time in bed. She is getting stronger everyday, she goes backwards when she is on her belly, she can hold herself up when she is put into the all fours position. She has learn to transition from sitting to her tummy. She is standing when holding onto her activity table with only a small amount of assistance.

One year ago we didn’t know what the future held. Our current reality it lots of hugs for Mum, mess EVERYWHERE (Hannah enjoys empty shelves, drawers, boxes and then dragging everything around the house). It is busy and amazing just like I hoped it would be. I don’t recall hoping I wouldn’t get any sleep…… between the late and early feeds and the girls especially, the boys occasionally waking up through the night we are pretty tired (our long weekend includes indulgent sleep ins (for me – I have another cold) and much needed day naps for Matt who is incredible despite the chaos, the sleepless nights and working full time.

I think I have covered everything. Hospital feels like a really long time ago and I am looking forward to it feeling further and further away.

Something I forgot, we still have anywhere between 1-3 appointments a week, our record is 7 appointments in 5 days – we had to reschedule a few after Ellie’s hospital admission.

I’ve started reading a friends blog documenting some medical issues they are going through. I think I finally have some perspective of what it is like to wait and see and read what happens each day. It is strange being on the other side thinking of the things that weren’t mentioned or what is being written could possibly mean for them.

I will leave this here, for those that fully understand what it is like to be a warrior.

Thank you for being so supportive.

*Deb

Poppy ran another half marathon for us – who wants to run with Mum and Dad next May?? 7, 14 or 21km!

Hospital babies think specimen jars are the best toys

Sick babies get to sleep next to their Mumma

Kids Hospital, Randwick ED before she got a bit sicker.

4 straight days of one on one with Mummy and 24hr hugs.

Feeling better again, time to come home.